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I was OK financially even if things were tight. I had extra side income coming in that kept me in the black. And then something crazy happened. I fell in love for the first time, with a guy who was handsome and successful, and suddenly he was the only person I wanted to be with. How could I? But while I was busy falling in love, the side income dried up.

I overspent and my rent check bounced. I dug myself into a deeper and deeper financial hole. I wanted to build a life and a future with him, and I knew that my situation was temporary, since it always was. I just wanted a quick fix, and it was within my grasp. I know that I could. But I want to be the guy that he thinks I am, the guy he deserves, and I want to deserve him. I hope I can make it until he gets back, and that I can find a way to get out of this hole.

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  • I bet I sound selfish, irresponsible, and dishonest, and maybe I am all of those things. Imagine if you knew you could easily make a few hundred bucks for sitting back and letting someone pleasure you for a half hour or an hour. What reason would you ever have to stop? I know that I need to stop taking the easy way out. I think I just got addicted to how easy it is. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

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    This is all I have left until my next paycheck, all of which will go to my rent. This article originally appeared on xoJane. More From Thought Catalog. Insider info, secrets, confessions, and guilty pleasures. You write it. We publish it. Submit here. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog.

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